“Something does not stop looking at me” (2014)

Upon entering,you find yourself in a corridor surrounded by walls with floral print. Then there appears a round hole.At the bottom of the tube,
you can see an image of a starting point of life, while letting yourself.Listening to a faltering male voice and singing a song on the piano,
at the end of the corridor, you will see a spacious chamber open.
 
In front of you, there is an image of water surface, cut round just like a full moon,that changes its own tint from that of dawn to that of twilight.
There comes a ship on the water at a certain moment. If you look back, you will be invited to peep into another hole, where you will hear a child recite, like a monologue, an inner rememoration.
 
All the while,
you will witness images representing various naratives.
What this work deals with is ambiguous gaze and memory
in the primal scene.

Something does not stop looking at me., Galerie16, Kyoto, May-June 2013

Installation voice and sound1 

Installation View             photo: Harumi ITO

 

 

 


 

Sound effect in the exhibition room: A monologue of a child Written by Akiko OKADA

I am walking forward, but falter.
I thought I was walking in the room, but now I find myself on ice.
I hear the ice creaking.
 
Every time I fall asleep, I find myself heading for a white, vacant place.
Just like my father, on that day, was going into the forest.
In fact, I had been pursuing him before he knew.
 
My father was picking the ground with a pickax in the forest.
Or was he beating? What was he really doing?
 
I used to sleep with a very big Teddy bear.
My mother says I was beating that bear, but I do not do such a thing.
To be honest, I was really cherished it.
 
Well, I remember. It was a little girl who was being beaten.
If what my mother says is true, may I say I was a girl in those days?
Certainly, she said I cherished a Teddy bear.
 
Was it that a girl was beating the bear, or that the bear was cherished?
If the girl was not me, was I the bear?
Then, was it I who was being beaten?
If I was treated so badly, why were they laughing around me?
Or was it something to be celebrated?
 
Often did I wake up and found a hole in the wall, through
which someone was watching me.
No, I looked through the hole and found lovers kissing each other
It was I who watched.
Not that. They were just using a lipstick on each other, though.
 
The room was my body.
It was a wonderful body from which I could see wherever I wanted.
 
When I woke up, the hole disappeared.
That’s why I open the window now every time I wake up from my dream.
 
How about you?
I do so.
 
Do you ask why?
Because I feel someone has been watching over me all through my dream.
 
Opening the window, I see the sky.
I see the sky, as well as the sea.
 
That is all what I see.
Other than that, I see nothing.
 
Still I believe, between the sky and the sea,
Floating there, that gaze I know.
 
Yes, I find it now.
That flying gaze,
Fleeting away as soon as I find it.
 

“- To the exhibition of Akiko Okada -”

“A psychoanalytic primal scene”

 

–The existence of each of us is composed of each history.

The textile of our human existence must have been woven

with numerous images caught by our gaze up to this time.

 

Then, our gaze must have also caught our parents’ gaze

waiting there for usto be born. We tend to presume
that we can reach that gaze at anytime we want

by ascending our memory.

 

Nevertheless, even when we trace back
our unconscious deeply, we do not encounter

our own memoryof looking at anything.

 

As we see in the exhibition of Akiko Okada,
it is a floating gaze of various others
that comes up.

 

This poses us a question:
What experience did we have at that primordial scene

where somebody must have been waiting for us?T

he images and the unconscious will refer us

back to that very scene.

Kazushige SHINGU (Psychiatrist)